Thursday, June 5, 2008

Is it selfish????

Is it selfish to want to hear an "I appreciate you" or "I appreciate everything you have done" or "Thank you" at least once??

I do alot of things for this family. Do I work? Nope. Not outside of the home. But I do ALOT. I hardly ever have that much "spare" time. In the AM before the kids wake up, a minute or two here and there throughout the day, and then after the kids go to bed. And things don't get easier when hubby gets home. I actually have MORE work to do then. And it's okay. I do what I do because I like to. I was always a perfectionist workaholic before the children, so now I put the extra energy into my home life. And I like it. I don't do it for the recognition. I do it because I love my children and husband. But for some reason, after 5 years of doing whatever it takes, a "Thank You" or "I appreciate you" would sure make me feel like everything I do isn't for nothing.

I gave up a career I had had for 8 years for my relationship. While job hunting after I quit that job, I turned down an offer to be a General Manager for a restaurant in HAWAII, I passed on another General Manager position because the Training would of sent me to Italy for 8 weeks. Another GM position I turned down because the training was for 6 months split between Florida and Arizona. And that was just to keep things going in the relationship in the earlier days. Since the children, I have given up the little stuff like time to myself, splurges like a haircut or a tanning session, Starbucks coffee, even a chance to sit down to eat a meal uninterrupted. I have asked my husband to give up nothing. He still continues to get what he wants when he wants it. And I let him. I help make sure he gets it. I am not even asking anything to change. I would just LOVE to hear a "Thank You".

Selfish of me, I know. And it even sounds ungrateful on my part. But I guess I am only human...


Ame said...

i am sorry that life is crappy right now, the things i want to tell you to do i can't on here . . . i hope that you do what is best for YOU and your kids and no one else. you deserve so much better in life...........if you need me i am always here (a place to stay etc.)

We 3 Peas said...

Selfish? No... I completely understand. I can't tell you how many times DH has told me "You think about her too much" talking about Maddy when I give her more than half of my food at a restaurant, or buy her new clothes before I do myself, etc. etc. It's the instinct God puts in us as mommies and men just don't understand it. You are a wonderful, amazing mother, though, and Jaz and Isaac are so lucky to have you! Hang in there. Someday they'll look back and be the ones to thank you for everything you've done. I know I didn't appreciate my mom as much as I should have until I became one. *hugs*