Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Putting it into perspective

Today was the day we had been expecting. The day hubby got laid off again. We knew it was coming. But I held out hope. And it was a selfish hope. We had just decided to go through with the application process for adoption. So I selfishly was hoping that the lay off wouldn't come. I had my application fee ready to go and was just needing to fill out the paperwork.

I will admit I cried. Not at the lay off....God will provide. He always has. But at the fact that the lay off means the adoption process has to wait a bit. I know God's timing is perfect timing. I know God has a perfect plan. But my not perfect human self was already falling in love with a child. A child who may not be born yet, but will be abandoned for whatever reason. A child who may already be sitting in an orphanage waiting, hoping and praying for someone to "pick me". A child that is destined for my Earthly family as part of God's great Heavenly plan.

For now I will keep praying. Keep researching. Keep reading. Keep making friends. Keep talking to whomever will listen about my love for the orphans and starving and hurting children in the world. And who knows....maybe my heartache at NOT being able to apply right now will persuade someone who CAN apply to do it. God has a perfect plan. And in HIS timing, our family will grow. Until then, my passion and love will grow, and my heart will continue to break for the least of these.



Anonymous said...

We were sorry to hear of Lennys layoff. How frustrating that must be.
I was shocked and excited that you plan to add to your family. I must say, altho not an "official" member, I have fallen in love with you all and another child would be another to spoil and buy clothes for...LOL.
Hoping I can talk your Dad into another visit soon.

sara said...

I am so sorry! I know your heart must ache but you are right, God's plan/timing is better than we ever expected! But it is hard to understand when we don't know the whole picture. Praying peace upon your family. Also, that you would rest in God's providence!