Sunday, November 15, 2009


Jazmine fell into the river while we were fishing this summer. I heard a splash and saw her completely under the water with those big blue eyes looking up at me. She kicked and kicked and was trying to get above water. I was petrified. I instantly jumped into the river to grab her. That was my baby. Floating in a river. I am not a strong swimmer. Not strong enough to be able to swim carrying a child. But by the grace of God I somehow managed to find a rock right where I jumped in that was up high enough for me to tip-toe on to be able to pull her up and onto the rocky bank.

She was fine. She held her breath the entire time. Didn't even come up coughing. She was so petrified. Isaac was petrified. They were both crying. I managed to hold myself together because I didn't want to scare them any more than they were.

Later back at camp, as I had just turned off the Coleman stove and dished up the kids food, it hit me. The stress of it all came crashing around me. I had to run off into the woods to vomit. I started sweating and shaking uncontrollably. But all I kept thinking was that my little girl could of just as easily NOT been sitting there eating dinner with us. She could of been in hospital, or worse yet, she could of been dead. And by the Grace of God she was there. And she was fine! God is good!

The crazy thing about the whole thing, is the perspectives we take in life. Jazmine remembers I saved her. She doesn't even talk about being scared or anything. She says about it "Mommy, I fell in river but you saved me. You saved me, mommy." This happened in August, and just last night, out of the blue (coincidentally about 2 minutes after I had just been thinking about it) she says "remember, you saved me when I fell in the river. Do you remember that you saved me mommy?" I tell her Mommy is the one who jumped in the river, but it was Jesus who was keeping her safe until I could pull her out. She doesn't completely understand that yet, but one day she will.

And though she is safe, I have a hard time seeing it from her perspective. I always usually look at the bright side of things. Always have and I hopefully always will. But this one episode brings to the forefront of my mind that not everyone sees things the same way. Some people only see what they deem as the failure in a situation, or what they perceive as hopelessness. I don't remember I pulled her out until later. That is not the first thought that crosses my mind. All I initially think about is that she COULD of died, and I FAILED as a parent because she fell in in the first place. She should of never fell in.

My question for you to think about is this....What perspective do you look at life with?


Brandi Bailey said...

Wow. How incredibly frightening! You are by NO means a bad parent, though. I can't stress that enough. Those situations do and will happen to everyone, no matter how cautious we may be. I am so glad that she is alright and that you were there and able to keep your cool and think rationally enough to get her out quickly and safely. And praise God for the angels He had around you all that day! Thank you for sharing your insight on the whole situation, too. You are wise and very admired! :)

~HeLeN~ said...

That is scary stuff!!! Way to keep your composure...and that will always be a special story between you and her!