Sunday, April 26, 2009

Thoughts for today...

Today is going to be a GREAT day!

Something GOOD is going to happen today.

God has FAVOR in my future.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

I need a little reminder.

Things have been tough lately. Not going to elaborate, but also not going to sit here and lie and say things are peachy. Now, if I ran into you in person, I would do just that. I would smile, say I was fabulous, etc, etc... But here I can lose the outward exterior I feel I need to show the world because here is just for me. Yes, you may read it, but it's my area. :)

Because things have been so rough, I have been struggling to even stay afloat it seems. Daily tears, yelling, fighting, loss of patience with children are just some of the ways my frustration gets out. So I thought I needed a little reminder to refocus my self on what I feel is important. My New Years Resolution.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Errand day

Yesterday was errand running day. We started off first at Les Schwab. The car has been making this awful noise from the front end and we need it fixed. (Not so easy unemployed, however.) Les Schwab had a 2 hour wait!!! With two toddlers...forget it! However, the guy just said without even looking at it "well, it's the rack and pinion from the sounds of it." Les Schwab has told me my last 3 cars all needed a new rack and pinion, so needless to say I didn't put too much faith in the opinion. We ended up finding a different place to have them look at it. They said we need new ball joints and lower control arms. Woohoo!!! $850 we dont' have! However, there is a guy in Lenny's class who is helping with the brakes so the two of them may just tackle the ball joints and what not. Who knows. :) It will get fixed when it gets fixed.

The car shop did happen to be across the street from a Tuesday Morning, however, so while we were waiting we went over there. Such cute stuff!!!!! We did splurge and get the children two awesome books and I even got some scrapbooking stuff. (All for a grand total of $12. I love saving money!!) I even did a paper page last night. (I have to since Lenny doesn't give me enough time on computer to do a digital page!-- Sheesh!)

After they were done with the car we headed off to grocery shop. All four of us usually go. (It's our "compromise", though I would love the time alone.) To make sure to keep our grocery bill under control I plan out a week or so worth of meals to help me create my list. I am excited that I have so many new dinners on the list this next week and a half. Oh, and 3 of them are crockpot recipes, so I don't have to spend hours in the afternoon cooking. I'll definitely have to share how it goes!

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Beach and more

Life has just been a little crazy right now. I feel like I never have enough time on the computer to actually sit down and type. I will do an "update" on life right now, then I am committing to keeping up on the blog to help my sanity again! :)

On the homefront Lenny still isn't working, but we are managing to get by without my going back to work. That is a blessing I am definitely grateful to the Lord for every single day! I am also thankful that I haven't wanted to strangle him very often! ;) Although he still does hog the computer AND the remote!!

The children are awesome. I just can not get over how "grown up" my Jazzie Mae is. I was watching her sleep last night and started crying. Tears of joy because she is so wonderful, but also tears of sadness that she is growing up so fast. She is just the most wonderful blessing ever. She has the biggest, purest heart, and is so polite and has such awesome manners. She loves everything and everybody, and gets her feelings hurt so very easily. And I can't even put into words how smart she is. I am so very proud of her!! She already talks about going to school everyday. And she has such a love of dancing. Everyday she puts on her ballet slippers and dances for me. I am doing everything I can to save money to enroll her in lessons when the studio takes in new toddlers at the summer session.

Isaac is just as wonderful. Thankfully the tantrums are slowly going away. And when he does have them they are shorter each time. He, too, is so very smart. Although he tends to surprise me. Jazmine was always counting, saying ABC's, pointing out colors and shapes, etc... But Isaac is just rough and tumble boy all the way and always acts like he isn't paying attention when I am trying to teach him. Then suddenly he starts singing ABC's or his states and I am just in awe. I guess because he doesn't do it very often, so when he shows off what he knows I am surprised he was actually listening. He is also so very polite with great manners. We were walking through WalMart the other day and he cut somebody off in the aisle, and looked up and said "excuse me, I'm sorry." The person was in complete shock! So cute hearing such politeness out of such a little guy! The other thing he is always doing is trying to be just as "grown up" as Sissy. The highchair has been gone for months, and he is already working on getting out of diapers. He also is always looking after Jazmine. He gets juice, and asks for some for her. Daddy hides something from her playing around, and he goes and finds it and gives it back to her. He may be the little brother, but I have a feeling he will be the protector in the very near future!

As for other things, we just got back from the Coast. This time we drove to the Southern Coastline. We spent time in Bandon, and Port Orford. The area is now officially my new favorite place to go here in Oregon. We spent hours and literally walked miles of coastline looking for stones and sealife. I found agates, opal, jade, coral, fossils, and gorgeous pieces of driftwood. We stumbled upon a family of stellar sealions just off shore, saw a whale spout, and searched through tidepools of sea anemones and starfish. It truly was refreshing for my soul.

My favorite little beach we found by accident in Port Orford had some sand, then a huge gravel bar. And the water dropped off so fast, that there were the biggest waves I had ever seen on the Oregon Coast. HUGE! You could literally sit down on the gravel bar and find precious stones and rocks right in your same spot for a good half hour or more before moving. It was so much fun! I have never "hunted" for some of natures treasures like that before and am hooked! I can't wait to go back. And I also can't wait to do some fun things with the goodies I got this trip! Here is a pic of my fav shells and driftwood I grabbed. The pics of the stones are proving a little difficult. I'll keep trying to get them in focus.
I am determined to get back to that stretch of Coast as soon as I can!!

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Song Lyrics

I have spent the last hour browsing a blog of an amazing family. (Thanks for the post about it, Helen.) Their little girl has just had a relapse of leukemia, yet they never lose their Faith in the Lord and His Plan. Please check it out and add them to your prayer list.

While I was there, I found these song lyrics that the mother had posted a while back and they just really said something to me, as I have been worrying more daily about protecting my children, so I thought I'd share....

Your baby blues
So full of wonder
Your curly cues
Your contagious smile
And as I watch
You start to grow up
All I can do is hold you tight

Knowing clouds will rage
And storms will race in
But you will be safe in my arms
Rains will pour down
Waves will crash all around
But you will be safe in my arms

Story books full of fairy tales
Of kings and queens and the bluest skies
My heart is torn just in knowing
You'll someday see the truth from lies

Knowing clouds will rage
And storms will race in
But you will be safe in my arms
Rains will pour down
Waves will crash all around
But you will be safe in my arms

Castles they might crumble
Dreams may not come true
But you are never all alone
Because I will always
Always love you

Clouds will rage
And storms will race in
But you will be safe in my arms
Rains will pour down
Waves will crash all around
But you will be safe in my arms



~ Plumb

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Has it really been over a month?

I can't believe it has been over a month since my last post. Since then, I am no longer working again, Jazmine turned 3, we spent a week at the ocean, Lenny isn't working, and we moved! *phew* I am tired just repeating it all!!

I honestly don't have anything exciting to write about. Doris is staying with us for one more week. She is waiting for her apartment to be ready. It really has been nice having the company, and I will miss her when she goes back to WA. Since Lenny isn't working, he of course, hogs the computer daily so even if I had anything to write about I wouldn't have time! ;) (For those wondering, he has moved up one space on the job list in the last 3 weeks...so he is 36th instead of 37th). I spend most days trying to find room for all the stuff I still have in boxes since I lost storage space in the move. And the children have been fighting like crazy. I feel like every time I turn around I am saying "stop screaming", "say sorry", "no hitting" or "no biting".

I guess that is all I really have for now. Here are a few pics of the new place, though.













Tuesday, January 13, 2009

New Favorite Quote

"When you reach the end of your rope,....
You will find the hem of
His garment."

Monday, January 5, 2009

2009 Resolutions (warning...long winded!)

It seems like every year I make some type of a resolution, only to not really end up following through. (I can only think of once that I actually completely accomplished my goal.) I love the idea of a New Year and a "fresh start", if you will. But the list of resolutions is not working for me, though I still want to better my family and myself with this upcoming year. For the past week or so I have been contemplating how I can do what I want to do and be successful. And all of this thinking has brought me back to the days when I was working and I had goals to set for an entire business that we needed to accomplish.

When it was time to set goals for my restaurant, I focused on what was referred to as the 80/20. What 20% of the things I wanted to work on would give me the biggest impact that would follow through to the other 80%? I started thinking of my life in that way and what I wanted to accomplish. What one or two (or even three) things could I focus on that would ultimately help me to accomplish MORE in this upcoming year and help me to be the better person I truly wanted to be WITHOUT setting too many goals and trying to work on too many things? Because the simple truth is that the more things you pile on your plate, the less thoroughly they all get taken care of.

Some of the things I want to accomplish this year include having more patience with the children. I want to remember that they are children and just let them "be" and not get so frustrated. Goofy, procrastinating, whatever it happens to be at that time. I also want to work on remembering that I am my own person, and to be happy for and with my family, I need to make sure I take care of me, too. I want to work on relationships with certain friends and loved ones. Some are thoroughly broken, some are slightly damaged, and some are only superficial, and there could be more depth to them. I want to remember to take time to find the joy in the journey and not always be so obsessed with what the end result of something is. And the last one I'll mention in my growing list is that I want to work on "Letting go and let God." I always try to control every detail of my and my families lives and try to fix and solve and even anticipate and figure out how I will solve every "potential" problem that may arise. I lose sleep, I stress, I don't eat, I make list after list, etc... I make plans and back up plans and then back up plans for my back up plans. It is exhausting!!


As you can see, I have quite the list of things that have crossed my mind that I would like improved. So I think it only made sense to try to figure out what REALISTICALLY I could work on that might hopefully impact the most things. And after a few days of contemplation, it hit me, and I couldn't believe that I didn't see it before. God. Improving my relationship with Him would flow into each and every aspect of what I talked about.

Not too long after getting pregnant with Jazmine (who was a planned pregnancy) the "world" fell out from under us, so to speak. We thought we were finally back up on our feet after a few years of serious struggling, so we decided to start a family, and then everything crumbled again. My faith at that time kept me positive, it helped keep my husband positive, and it kept us happy. Without my faith I am not sure what would of been, and I am not sure I want to know. However, somewhere in the middle of trying to run mine and my children's lives since then, I forgot that I am not the one that needs to be in control. I am fickle, I guess you could say, in letting God be in control. I do everything I can all by myself these days, and only stop to pray and ask for help from Him when I am about to be crushed by the burdens I am carrying. We still have been going to church because we found one that we love here in town, but I don't feel the connection with the Lord I once felt.

My resolution for 2009 is to work on my faith and trust in the Lord. I want to truly let him into my life and to STAY in control in my life. So though I am not a new believer, and have been raised in a Christian home and gone to church most of my life, I have made a point to ask the Lord into my life once more. I want to reopen my heart to Him. I feel a passion again that has been missing for a little while.


Asking Him back into my life will help me to start being a better person. It will help me with patience, it will help me with love and understanding in my other relationships, it will make it easier to be willing to stand back and let Him steer my life. I will hopefully be able to realize that He has a plan, though it may not always seem apparent to me, and I just need to TRUST.

So after many days of contemplating, after writing list after list after list, and after typing my longest entry in my blog EVER, I have realized the ONE thing that will give me the biggest impact. The ONE thing that will help me to make the most out of this year without overloading myself. Through the Lord I can improve all I hope to improve.

A look back at 2008

As the New Year really gets going this week, I decided I wanted to take a look back on what 2008 was like.

~We moved from Washington (where we had been all our lives) to Oregon
~Jazmine turned two and Isaac turned one.
~Isaac started walking and talking and Jazmine suddenly turned from my baby girl to a little girl
~Got reconnected with friends from highschool
~Found a new church we fell in love with
~Left both Isaac and Jazmine in daycare at the church for the first time ever
~Formed new friendships and really started to turn Salem into our "home"
~Spent the summer with family visiting us
~I started working again, but am lucky enough to be able to still keep the children with me
~Took the children to the Pumpkin Patch for the first time...also my first time since I was old enough to remember
~The children went Trick-or-Treating for the first time (Isaac as a pumpkin, Jaz as a bumblebee)
~Elected a new President that I am so very excited and passionate about for the first time since I was old enough to vote
~Had our first Thanksgiving in Oregon at Lenny's cousin's house
~Planned on having our first ever Christmas without tons of family around
~Had a huge winter storm that had us without power for days, so we spent Christmas with friends and it was wonderful


I am excited to see what 2009 will bring. The last year had plenty of challenges and heartbreak, like I think almost every year usually holds in store, but maybe, just maybe, 2009 will have a few less. :)

Friday, December 26, 2008

Calgon, take me away...



I can't believe it has been a month since my last post. Well, actually I can. It has been hectic. And if I have time to update a blog, I have been doing the childrens.

Work has been super busy. It seems like there is always something to do and I feel like I can never catch up. The first 3 weeks after Thanksgiving we had 7 apartments to turn. One turnover takes from 2-4 days, depending. So that has taken almost every free moment I have had.

The children are doing well, but Isaac has been a handful. I am at my wits end and do not know what to do. He has started these Earth shattering temper tantrums. Biting, hitting, screaming, flailing around, throwing things...I have tried everything I can think of or have read about or have had the pediatrician suggest. He is my laughing little boy one minute, then if he doesn't get what he wants or Jazmine makes him mad...on comes the temper tantrum. There has been numerous times that I am so exhausted by the end of the day, I just cry. I feel like I am failing as a mother. Everyone says "It's a stage"...well I'll tell you where this "stage" can be shoved!!

Then the middle of December, Mother Nature decided to dump a little extra "winter weather" on us. Snow came down like crazy, causing the ODOT to require chains to get around for periods of time off and on. Lenny's job site was shut down because they were outside, so more time with no income. Then in the middle of the "Arctic Blast", while Seattle continued to get snow, we got 2 inches of freezing rain. Oh, and did I mention that that 2 solid inches of ice was on top of the layer of 8 inches of snow we had? There was so much snow and ice everywhere, that trees were falling like crazy. So of course that means these falling trees were bound to hit a few power lines. At one point in time, more than 57,000 were without power. Of course we were part of that large number. And then just for fun in the middle of that, Mother Nature gave us another 6 inches of snow, and one more inch of freezing rain! She has been so generous this year!!!! I'll take the snow anytime, but the ice I could do without!

The first two days without power we stayed here at the apartment. We ate cereal and PB&J and hung out and tried to stay warm. Unfortunately these apartments are not well built, and therefore they do not keep the warm air in. Actually, you can feel a breeze inside on a windy day. So by the start of day 3, when we could see our breath in the air, we decided it was time to jump ship. Thankfully a friend from highschool of Lenny's (actually his sisters' BFF) moved to town a few weeks ago, and they welcomed us with open arms! (Thanks, you guys are the best!!) Late Christmas Eve, the power finally came back on, after 4 1/2 days. So we headed home!! In all honesty, I felt like a failure finding a place to go, because a couple years ago in Seattle we were without power for 7 days. But we had a fireplace so we kept warm even though Jazmine was just a baby. Anyway....

Christmas was nice. The children love their gifts, and then we spent Christmas day with Mindy, Adrian, and their two little girls. (They are the ones who took us in for those couple days.) Watched a movie, splurged on beer and wine, had a nice Prime Rib dinner and watched the children all play together. And did a good amount of laughing and chatting.

This past weekend was busy again, because we are still cleaning up storm damage around the apartment complex. Lots of trees and branches down. Plus we have had bad wind the last two days so more branches and mess keep accumulating. Not to mention the garbage. It was like everyone thought they could litter all over the complex and it would be hidden by the snow. Well, it was. For a while. Now it seems like everywhere I look there is trash to clean.

This week will also be a little hectic. We have 2 more apartments that have been vacated, and 2 more at the beginning of next week. Once again, it will keep my "free" time to a minimum. As for New Years, still no plans. I think New Years Day I will make homemade pizza with the children. A very dear friend of mine introduced me to that tradition a long time ago, and I did it every year except last year. I know Jazmine is going to have fun with it. Isaac too, since it's both of their favorite food!

I really hope things settle back down soon, so I can start keeping up again!!