An inspirational man

Randy Pausch passed away last Friday. He had pancreatic cancer. I watched the original Diane Sawyer interview with him when it aired, and last night I watched it again with the update at the end of his passing. There was such a peace about him and his wife. He was strong and wanted to be sure to finish out his life to the fullest. I plan on buying the book "The Last Lecture" soon. There was something he said in the interview that really got to me. He said how the only part of him knowing he was going to die that still caused him to cry was when he talked about his children and wife. And it wasn't that he wasn't going to be around to see them grow up, it was that they were being deprived of him. He said that soon someone was going to push his family off a cliff, and he wouldnt' be there to catch them. All he could do for them was to try to build safety nets to save them. He could be angry and bitter, or he could get busy building the nets. So that is what he was doing. It is yet another reminder to me to cherish the small moments because they are what matter. Don't waste today worrying about tomorrow.

Here are a couple quotes from his famous "lecture"...

-Never underestimate the importance of having fun. I'm dying and I'm having fun. And I'm going to keep having fun every day because there's no other way to play it.

-Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted.

-No one is pure evil. Find the best in everybody. Wait long enough and people will surprise and impress you.

-Brick walls are there for a reason. They are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. The brick walls are there to stop people who don't want it badly enough.

-It is not about achieving your dreams but living your life. If you lead your life the right way, the karma will take care of itself. The dreams will come to you.

-We can't change the cards we're dealt, just how we play the hand. If I'm not as depressed as you think I should be, I'm sorry to disappoint you.

Birthday, really????

Today we are going to the beach. Lenny got laid off yesterday, which we knew was coming, so all 7 of us are heading to Lincoln City for some sun, surf, and seafood! However, Lenny said we could do it to celebrate my birthday. Really??? My birthday?? Already?

Yep. Next weekend I will celebrate my 32nd birthday. I knew it was coming. I have just been avoiding it. By him mentioning celebrating it (since we have obligations next weekend) it was thrown back in my face. It kind of makes me sick to my stomach in a way to think that I am getting so old. I do admit that I am grateful I don't look my age. But being 32 is a hard one to wrap my mind around.

I guess I won't. I'll continue to avoid it. Pretend we are celebrating something else at the beach today. :) I can do that. At least for another week! :)

Feeling Great!!

I feel fabulous today! I mean I am always in a good mood, etc...but today is better.

Yesterday I cut my hair off. It was almost to my butt and now it's about my shoulders. I love it! I did my hair this morning and actually felt semi-attractive. That is huge. I don't remember the last time I felt that way. To top it off...I got on the scale...6 pounds down. WooHoo!!! However, I will keep quiet about how many more I want to lose.

Also, a "job" opportunity has fallen in my (and Lenny's) lap. Our apartment manager needs help with an assistant manager position and a maintenance position. So between the two of us we are going to tag-team it. I am excited. It is no huge amount of money, that is for sure, but it is a little extra every month, plus our rent is taken care of. And the best part....I have no need to put the children in daycare! Some of the stuff I can do with them with me, and when I need to be in the office for the day, it will be a weekend and Lenny can take care of them. Plus the office is literally next door.

I am so excited. For many reasons, I am feeling great!!!!!

What a week...

This past week has been kind of crazy. Friday Lenny called from work at 9:30am and says to get the kids packed for the weekend at the beach and he will home to pick us up in 20 minutes. Have you ever tried to feed children and get packed for a weekend plus get the children ready to leave the house in 20 minutes?? Well if you have and you can do it...I admire you!! I worked my tail off and it still took 45 minutes. :)

Anyway, we were originally just going to head to Lincoln City, but as we were driving down the road at the last minute Lenny decides to head to the Sea Lion Caves. We stopped in Florence at the beach, went to have some lunch, headed to the Caves, and then came back to Florence and found a hotel with a pool for the evening. The next morning we headed to Lincoln City where we met Lenny's mom and two neices. We stayed there one more night and we all headed back here on Sunday.

Monday was Lenny and I's anniversary. Three years. And I spent the evening at home, with Doris, Monea, Kayla, and a projectile vomiting set of toddlers. Where was my husband? Oh that would be hanging out with his friends. He said since he took us away for the weekend that should count and I shouldn't be ungrateful. Next time he won't take me anywhere. Is it just me... or does the day matter??? Was I being stupid for still thinking the actual anniversary would of been nice to spend together? Anyway.

The children were sick all night Monday and Tuesday. NOT FUN!!! Then on Wednesday, Lenny got sick. They sent him home from work that morning. He was still sick yesterday and this morning. I got sick yesterday, and have been sick since. However, to time to rest or sleep or recoup when I have everyone else to take care of. :)

So, this past week has just been a little hectic. Thankfully Lenny's mom and nieces have been here. They have been a huge help with the children. And it's been nice to have company. If they wouldn't of been here with me on Monday I probably would of strangled my husband. :)

I am hoping this next week settles down a little bit.

Tagged!!!

If you are reading this, and you have a blog, you've been tagged. Because inquiring minds want to know, you MUST repost with your OWN answers!



If you HAD to spend $1,000 on YOURSELF, how would you spend it? clothes, hair, nails. tanning, gas money to visit my BFF
Favorite thing about your house? it's a nice location
Least favorite thing about your house? it's an apartment not a house
What job would you pay NOT to have? anything at all that has to do with snakes
If you could be a fly on the wall, where? I can't tell you that...then it wont' be secret
Favorite food: carne asada
Quirks: soo many of them...dishwasher loading, the way the TP unrolls, things being in a line, making lists for everything....i could go on forever
How would the person who loves you most describe you in ten words or less?
Mommy
Any regrets in life? too many
Favorite Charity/Cause? Abused children or Juvenile Diabetes
Favorite Blog recently? Dont' Read This
Something you can’t get enough of? My children
Worst job you have ever had? Brown Bag Cafe working for a sexist pig who told me to keep my mouth shut and just be the pretty face he hired me to be
Guilty Pleasures? reading and computer time
Got any confessions? Jazzie Mae still uses a bottle to fall asleep at night
When are you most relaxed? When I am rested
One thing you are bad at? only one????
One thing you’re good at? Multitasking
If you could change something about your circumstances, what? Another thing I regretfully can't post here
Who would you like to meet someday? My children's spouses
Who is your real life hero? any single parents who raise fabulous children
What can you not live without? my children
Do you agree or disagree with the recent article that reported that blogs are authored by narcissists? I completely disagree

Brain Rot

I am actively combating my brain rot! My wonderful sister in law keeps sending good books my way. So between Sodoku puzzles, crossword puzzles, learning about random things, and good books...I feel like my brain is being put to better use.

In the last couple weeks I have read "Into the Wild"...a true story about a young man venturing off into the Alaskan wilderness, and "The Lovely Bones". I must say that though the first book was good, the latter has to be one of my favorite reads in quite awhile. It is about a young girl of 14 who is murdered. She is telling her story from up in Heaven, where she is watching down on her family and friends. It is a gruesome topic as far as child murder, but the book was so well written that I could not put it down.

Currently I just started a new book, a memoir by the author of The Lovely Bones, about her rape and healing process afterward. I will let you know how it is.

Nothing exciting...

I know I haven't written in a couple days...but there hasn't been too much exciting going on. Whether finally turned nice yesterday, so until then we have been kind of stuck here in the apartment.

The Fourth of July weekend there is a family reunion in Paradise California. We are supposed to be making a road trip down there to go to it. We didn't go to last years reunion, because Isaac was still practically a newborn, plus financially it was going to be too much of a stretch. There is a pretty big wildfire right outside of Paradise, though, so we are watching that to see if it affects plans or not.

This weekend is Father's Day Weekend. Tomorrow we will go to church and grill some ShishKabobs. Not too exciting, but plenty exciting for us. Lenny is working 6 days a week right now. His work almost NEVER offers overtime, so we are trying to take advantage of the fact that they are offering it currently. It will help pay for the road trip, especially with gas prices!

That's about it for now. Excitement galore in Salem Oregon!!! :)

Is it selfish????

Is it selfish to want to hear an "I appreciate you" or "I appreciate everything you have done" or "Thank you" at least once??

I do alot of things for this family. Do I work? Nope. Not outside of the home. But I do ALOT. I hardly ever have that much "spare" time. In the AM before the kids wake up, a minute or two here and there throughout the day, and then after the kids go to bed. And things don't get easier when hubby gets home. I actually have MORE work to do then. And it's okay. I do what I do because I like to. I was always a perfectionist workaholic before the children, so now I put the extra energy into my home life. And I like it. I don't do it for the recognition. I do it because I love my children and husband. But for some reason, after 5 years of doing whatever it takes, a "Thank You" or "I appreciate you" would sure make me feel like everything I do isn't for nothing.

I gave up a career I had had for 8 years for my relationship. While job hunting after I quit that job, I turned down an offer to be a General Manager for a restaurant in HAWAII, I passed on another General Manager position because the Training would of sent me to Italy for 8 weeks. Another GM position I turned down because the training was for 6 months split between Florida and Arizona. And that was just to keep things going in the relationship in the earlier days. Since the children, I have given up the little stuff like time to myself, splurges like a haircut or a tanning session, Starbucks coffee, even a chance to sit down to eat a meal uninterrupted. I have asked my husband to give up nothing. He still continues to get what he wants when he wants it. And I let him. I help make sure he gets it. I am not even asking anything to change. I would just LOVE to hear a "Thank You".

Selfish of me, I know. And it even sounds ungrateful on my part. But I guess I am only human...

Tidbits of advice....

Insanity is the act of doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

In any given situation, you basically have three choices... Change it, accept it, or leave it.

Today is the day!!!

My "baby" is ONE!! I can't believe how fast the time has flown. It seems like yesterday that I was amazed over his first smile, and celebrating rolling over. I remember I had these SAME feelings on Jazmine's birthday, too. It's funny because they say that these milestones are the hardest with your first child and your last. Well, all I have is my first and last. Unless something MONUMENTAL changes in my life....Isaac is my last little baby! Besides, I have two of the most wonderful, loving, well natured children in the world. Why push my luck? ;)

We have visitors coming in tonight. Lenny's mom, his sister Kristi, and his two nieces. I am excited for the company, but of course I have been cleaning all day!! Not that there is really anything that NEEDS cleaned. I am just me! And since today is Isaac's birthday, and we will have so many visitors, I am decided to do an impromptu party. I already had been planning on a party next month, but what harm can a second party do??

On a side note, I have been feeling like my brain is rotting away lately. Back when I was working, my brain was always challenged. I love staying home with the kids, but some days I do feel under stimulated. To remedy feeling this way I have been doing things like watching CNN and all the political coverage, doing Sodoku puzzles from the time the kids go to bed until I go to bed, making a home budgeting program in Excel, even though I can download a million free ones any time I want. I was even trying to help our neighbor find the discrepancies in her books for the apt complex. Whatever I can do. Its helping me feel a little better. I don't feel as much like my brain has rotted!